I’m back again…I think. I’ve been waiting for enough ammo to throw into the Janz fire, and now I have plenty.
The little liar let everyone know we moved into our new pad (http://www.tulipandthelma.com/2012/03/08/puddns-place/), and yes, it’s awesome. But it’s no frat house. It’s more like a museum because Janz insisted every room be painted bright white. If you come over, make sure you bring some shades.
In response to the fabricator’s post:
- Yes, I went out of town a couple days after the move, but it was hardly a vacation…unless, for some ungodly reason, people have decided downtown Detroit in the middle of February is a hot destination. Woof! Janz neglected to mention that part. Plus, I had to go, with the amount of money we’re spending on fixing this place up, someone needs to bring home the bacon. Lord knows miss “freelance writer” doesn’t write a damn thing except her dumb blog these days.
- Unpacking the boxes…the reason I told her it didn’t look like she’d done anything is because SHE HADN’T! We’ve been here for over a month and we still have boxes of knickknacks (God, I even hate that word) in what’s supposed to be our guest bedroom. And don’t even get me started on the garage…how many cars can we fit in there? Go ahead, ask. The answer: none. None. I can’t even fit my beach cruiser in there with all the crap Janz is hoarding. She keeps talking about a garage sale (been hearing that one for 6 months), but I have a better chance of finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
- The Spa…dudes, if you bought a house with a fantastic 9′x9′ hot tub in the backyard, would you let it sit there growing green slime? Any self-respecting homeowner would make sure that sucker rocks. It’s awesome. If you’re ever in the area, stop by, I’ll give you the Bo Clancey tour (cause Janz’s is boring). The waterfall is the highlight.
- Surround sound…gotta have it, plus the speakers in the back. I have nothing more to say on this subject.
- Beer pong, Irish Spring and The Big Lebowski…Hey, I’m a dude, so I like those things, especially Lebowski. Get used to it.
Overall, the amount of money I’ve spent was minuscule compared to what Janz spent on the rest of the house. Did you know she dropped a grand on getting the place feng shui’ed? What does that even mean? All I know is now we have water fountains running in almost every room. I think it’s supposed to be relaxing, but constantly hearing that trickling sound just makes me need to drain the vein.
In closing, don’t believe anything Janz says. Only I speak the truth.