So let’s do this. I need to respond to Janz’s post last week (http://www.tulipandthelma.com/2012/01/baby-new-year.html), where she ragged on me for being sick in bed all day. Well, I was…that day, the next and everyday until the day before yesterday. Eight days. Janz gave me shit and was a complete bitch because she thought I was just hungover. But no hangover lasts for more than 3 days, not even ones in Vegas. I finally found out it was the flu…brutal.
Speaking of being sick…you know what’s great to have when you have a cold? Nose hair. You see, Janz lasered hers off (yes, the ones inside her nostrils), so now she’s follically challenged up there. Otherwise known as bald. She claims when she was getting laser hair removal on some other parts, the laser lady was like, “All the girls are doing their noses. I’ll throw it in for free.” So she did it. Well poor Janz learned a lesson the hard way—turns out you need nose hair, especially with a cold. Hers is like a drippy faucet.
You should hear her around here blowing that thing like an 80-year-old ex-coal miner. Honk!! In the kitchen. HONK!! In the car. HONK HONK!!! At restaurants. Oh, I just heard her do it again, how adorable. And now Lulu’s learning how to be gross by watching her mom. She picks up tissues and pretends to blow her nose…coincidentally making the same noise as an elephant sound.
So what does Janz do when she’s sick? Good question. Imagine waking up in the morning, rolling over, and opening your eyes to the sight of Janz sleeping (mouth open) with a rolled-up tissue stuffed in each nostril. Hot, huh? She even walks around here like that. Imagine how awesome that looks combined with the granny nightgown—you see what I deal with.
I say she should shoot Rogaine up there, but Janz seems perfectly happy with her honking and tissue-stuffing routine. I guess she’ll never have a long hair sticking out of her schnozz, but I’m not sure that’s worth it.
Anyway, if you haven’t gotten the flu shot, do it…unless you enjoy vomiting, chills, fevers, aches, coughing, sneezing and cold sores. Fun stuff.