Show Me That Titty

Janz spends a lot of time and energy writing stories on her blog about stupid things I do. She’s going to kill me, but I think a nice little story about her is in order. Here we go:

In a time long, long ago…the year 2 B.C. (Before Child), Janz was a party animal. She could tear it up with the best of them, guzzling white wine spritzers like a champ…she was my little Snookie.

Cut to 4th of July, 2009. A bunch of us (we were all pretty bombed) found ourselves late night at our friend Joyce Ann’s house.  Joyce works for a certain nudie magazine…but I only read it for the articles.

Janz was looking at an issue that had a pic of Lady Gaga showing her droopy, saggy boob. From across the room our good buddy Mike asked Janz to “show me that titty.” Knowing he meant Lady Gaga’s ta-ta, I took the mag over to show him, but he was staring with his mouth open back at Janz. I turned around to see her standing there with a blank look on her face and a boob dangling out of her dress. And she calls me an idiot.

When I yelled “Janz, WTF!?!,” she seemed like she’d just woken up from a dream, then looked down in horror at her fully exposed tit. Then she acted mortified (to be honest, she’s not really the boob-flashing type) while the rest of us laughed until we almost vomited.

What troubles me to this day isn’t that it happened, but that Janz actually seemed shocked that her own boob was hanging out. You see, it was no small chore getting that sucker out. She had to take her jacket off, yank her strap over her shoulder, pull down her bra, rub her nipple (at least I hear that’s what happened), and then expose the breasticle. She didn’t just pop it out of a bathing suit—it was a lot of work to free that thing.

Man, she sure used to rock, didn’t she? Yep…used to.

I don’t have pictures of the Incident, but I did my best to reenact it below.

ROCK!

Earlier in the day...not knowing what would pop out of that dress.


Suck it, Janz!

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3 thoughts on “Show Me That Titty

  1. Awwwww I miss the old drunky crazy Janet too! But my favorite part of that blog was that it looked like you were actually wearing one of her shirts in the reenactment! At least I HOPE it was hers and that you don’t own a skin-tight, shiny, spandex, teal-colored tank top…

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